The birth of Ruby Rudd on October 12 th 2003.

Ruby is my first baby and I was originally planning to have her in hospital. As a documentary television director I’m used to researching subjects thoroughly and approached pregnancy as I would a programme, reading everything I could get my hands on. What became clear to me was that the whole process of giving birth had become unnecessarily medicalised in recent years. Caesareans rates have soared and I found it hard to believe that one in four births actually warranted one. Anecdotally, I was shocked by how many of my friends seemed to have ended up with ‘emergency’ caesareans and how many had had bad hospital experiences (One friend remembers a cleaning lady emptying the bins in her room as her son was being delivered) all of which made me feel very scared about the whole idea of giving birth. I also had other, more personal reasons for feeling apprehensive about the idea of giving birth in hospital. I’d lost my dad two years before (unexpectedly at only 59) and had spent four weeks practically living in hospital with him, after he’d been told he was dying of lung cancer. I realised that I associated hospitals with illness and (in this extreme case) death. Did I really want to be reminded of that awful time in the throes of labour? What if I started remembering terrible moments many of which had come flooding back on the tour of the hospital?

A week after the hospital tour I had made my mind up – this baby was going to be born at home – a place where I feel safe, comfortable and secure. Jon my husband was hesitant but could see how much more relaxed I was about the birth once I’d made that decision. It took a bit longer for us to agree that it was worth paying for an independent midwife. It’s undoubtedly a lot of money to spend especially as I was about to give up work for a while. Although my hospital midwives had been supportive about a home birth, I had already seen four different ones and I knew that the team itself was sixteen strong. I wanted to feel that I really ‘knew’ the people that were beside me in labour, something, which looked increasingly unlikely. Also, friends who’d wanted a home birth were granted it initially but were then persuaded that they needed to go to hospital when they were in labour. There’s no doubt that this is a time when most of us are probably too weak/vulnerable to argue and nobody wants to put their baby’s health in jeopardy – the reason usually stated. (Could it just be that midwives aren’t experienced enough these days in home births so are too quick to rely on the medical route?)

I wanted to be sure that I had the best possible chance of getting the home birth I wanted so eventually decided to pay for independent midwives, who were sympathetic to home births. I started looking into midwives who specialised in this area and found Jane and Laura. I was 34 weeks pregnant by this time but I saw either Jane or Laura for at least an hour and a half each week so by the time I was in labour I felt like I knew them. My waters broke the day before I went into labour and Laura and Jane advised me to get some rest in case labour was a long time coming. Nothing happened until 5pm the next day when my contractions started and were very quickly five minutes apart. By the time I decided I needed Laura and Jane with me I was 7 cm dilated. (This is a rough estimate which Jane and Laura told me afterwards as they both feel that internals are unhelpful psychologically so don’t do them. For me, not having them helped me hold on to my dignity – well, more dignity than you usually expect in labour!)

I had a nine and a half hour labour – four and a half hours of which were second stage pushing. There is no doubt it was tough but it helped so much being surrounded only by people I knew, in my own home. Ultimately I never felt like a ‘patient’ and having my own music and my own surroundings really helped. I was able to eat and drink what I liked when I wanted. Ruby was finally born at 1.15 in the morning, weighing 7 12. My perineum was completely intact – which I was very grateful for! If I’d been in hospital Jon would have then had to go home – something I would have hated after such a powerful experience. There was nothing more wonderful than lying in our own bed afterwards with Ruby lying in between us – perfect, by the way and so alert, as no drugs had been through my system.

Laura and Jane were fantastic throughout and never expected me to labour at anything other than my own pace. Their after care was also wonderful – they saw me nearly every day for a month afterwards. I have heard it said that good birth experiences lead to happy babies and I don’t know whether there’s any truth in this but I can report that Ruby smiles all the time cries very little and has been sleeping through the night since she was six weeks old! Booking Laura and Jane helped me to have a very positive birth experience.