The birth of Sholto on 31 st March 2006

Sholto is our first child. Following a miscarriage a couple of years ago, it took some time and effort to conceive Sholto, and when we had the positive pregnancy test in July 05 we felt very blessed to be expecting a child.

Being an independent-minded person and not the kind to take kindly at being directed what to do, I have always felt drawn towards the idea of a home birth rather than a hospital birth. After having done some research, I also felt that the evidence supported my instincts and that homebirth was just as safe as hospital birth, especially given that I had a trouble-free pregnancy, and my husband supported me in this. And I was also keen to have the support of someone I knew when giving birth and didn't feel that this would necessarily work out with the local community midwives. All of these reasons led us to consider a homebirth supported by an independent midwife and so we met with Laura to consider this option. At 32 weeks, we made the decision to go with this plan.

Laura came to visit us every 2 weeks up to 36 weeks and then every week after that. Things continued to progress well and the baby was in a good position. On 29 th March, I had a bit of a show and around midnight the contractions started. I tried to get some more sleep but the contractions were quite painful. I couldn't settle and strapped on the TENS machine at a lowish setting. I spent the rest of the night wandering about and trying to settle for some rest in between contractions. In the early hours, hubby got going with filling the pool. We called Laura at about 6.30am to let her know that things were developing and she came to see us about 9.30am . She diplomatically suggested she might go off and do another appointment and then come back again so we realised that actually we still had some way to go and that this was not even established labour! By the time Laura came back around lunchtime, the contractions were closer together and harder to handle, and I was in established labour. I spent some time keeling on the sofa and waggling my hips during contractions and wandering about in between them. Soon after that Laura gave me the Ok to get into the pool and getting into the warm water felt like bliss. Its not that the water takes away the pain but being surrounded and supported by it is soothing. I seemed to end up kneeling with my knees apart during most contractions ands rested my head on my arms on the side of the pool in between contractions- it took me some time after the birth to realise that this was why my forehead felt a bit bruised! I was not aware of time passing as there were no clocks nearby- I just focused on breathing through each contraction, and the breathing was the key thing that helped get me through (so much for the hypnotherapy sessions I practised and the aromatherapy oils I used- I am not sure they were much use for me at all). It really felt quite instinctive to me. I remember being aware of the light outside- so although I had no idea what time it was, it seemed liked it stayed light for a long time.

Things continued to get more intense- I remember asking when the bloody endorphins would kick in, which I think made Laura smile as by then I was virtually asleep between contractions resting my head on the side of the pool. By about 9.30pm (I was told the time, as Laura wondered whether the baby's birthday would be the 30 th or 31st March and I felt relieved to be nearing the end), I noticed that the contractions started to become ‘pushy'. This was a bit of a surprise to me as I expected to have more of a distinction between the first and second stages. I think it was early in the pushing phase when I had intense back pain- and I found this incredibly painful to handle. It helped when my hubby pressed VERY hard against my lower back during the contractions. The pushy contractions built up and became quite overwhelming- I can only describe it as like being caught up in a tidal wave and flung about the place, it was so powerful, and it felt like my whole body was involved. Apparently my contractions ebbed and flowed a bit and Laura encouraged me to try different positions- standing and leaning on hubby for example, or squatting in the pool- a position I intensely disliked. I also got out of the pool and tried the birth stool and found that this really helped to ‘focus' the pushing and I felt more engaged with it in some way. Although I did get back in the pool, I got back out again to use the birth stool in the last 30minutes or so- I had felt pretty open-minded about exactly where Sholto was born so it didn't bother me to get out of the pool. I was able to feel his head coming down, although I needed Laura to do an internal examination (at my request) to reassure me that I was indeed feeling the head. Sholto emerged at 1.31am on Friday 31 st March in one big slither, and cried immediately- and I had no tears so no stitches required. However, Laura was concerned that he was breathing too fast and decided that we should call the paramedics and transfer to hospital for a checkup. Meanwhile, I was also losing a lot of blood, although I wasn't really aware of this as I was too busy staring at my son in my arms- he had lots of dark hair on his cone-shaped head! We had planned a physiological third stage but as the blood loss wasn't slowing down we made the decision to have the syntometrine injection and get the placenta out as soon as possible- Cameron cut the cord. So Laura was handling two mini-crises at once – but there was never any sense of panic about it. Looking back on this I am impressed at how Laura handled it- she was very focused and efficient, and just got on with things in a very calm but focused manner. The paramedics were not overly concerned but agreed we should transfer for a checkup. So we transferred to hospital- it was quite surreal in our kitchen at one point, what with me attempting to wipe off some blood and get dressed in the clothes my husband had grabbed for me, surrounded by 3 paramedics, my husband and Laura.

When we got to the hospital, the paediatrician did some checks on Sholto, and by 2.30am he was latched on and feeding like a pro. He had two more sets of observations, and we both got some much-needed sleep, before we were discharged at about 8.30am . Basically, his body had not efficiently cleared his lungs of fluid and that was causing the rapid breathing. It's a condition that tends to resolve itself within 8-12 hours which is exactly what happened with him.

I am so grateful we decided on a homebirth with Laura's support. She enabled us to achieve the home birth and I am not sure I could have done it without her. I am very proud that I survived using the TENS machine and the pool and that Sholto had a drug-free birth. I think Laura was more annoyed than us at having to transfer to hospital. This meant we didn't have time to spend alone with him immediately after his birth (it all got rather busy rather quickly), and I didn't get to examine the placenta- but it was the right decision to have him thoroughly checked out and I am happy we did that.

Its really interesting to read Laura's notes about the labour and birth- apparently my labour ebbed and flowed quite a bit (active labour lasted about 14 hours in total) and all in all the pushing phase lasted almost 4 hours- both things which would likely have prompted strong pressure for intervention if we'd been in hospital. But Laura's monitoring of Sholto's heartbeat reassured us all the way through that he was OK, and, with her constant encouragement (including lots of banana & honey smoothies; about all that I could keep down) we did it in the end. And I have suffered no ill effects from the long pushing phase- I was strict about doing the pelvic floor exercises (night feeds are a great time to focus on these!) and, at 6 weeks after the birth, I feel pretty much normal again.

We are really happy we got the home birth we wanted. It was the right way for us to welcome Sholto into this world, and it was a wonderful experience. I feel so content about it all and I'm amazed that I survived with no tears or stitches. I feel quite sure it would have been a different story in hospital. We will always be thankful to have had Laura's support for the birth of our very precious little boy.